How to Deal With a Depressed Person
1. Don’t ask me to look for a silver lining when I can’t even point out the sky to you, when I can’t wake up before 12 pm because my bed feels like an old friend that I haven’t quite understood, an old friend who left with no explanations but I just couldn’t let go 2. Stop telling me to go out more, relax, go for a walk, or eat healthier. I won’t. Fuck off. 3. Stop telling me to stop binge watching because it binges me It puts my brain to sleep And my brain is a five-year old with daddy and mommy issues, and no-friends issues, and give-me-more-chips issues, I know it’s not a meal but I don’t care about my body, and second-hand-smoking issues because mommy smokes when stressed and stress is her first-born when she was first born and I don’t even know what that means! 4. Don’t yell, don’t slam shut doors, don’t love me, don’t leave me Because I can’t really control my body’s shaking, and the voices in my head are like an arab grandmother: always weaving unreasonable explanations, like thinking someone is conspiring against them But I’ve gotten over my leaving trauma, so please, on your way out close the door gently behind you. 5. Hold me close but don’t touch me at all Hear my silence, my sobbing. Tell me everything is not okay. 6. Take out your bullshit preferably twice a day, that shit stinks! 7. Do not tell me “what’s for your own good”. I ran out of good, sorry for the inconvenience. 8. Keep your advice to yourself “smoking is bad for your health” No shit?! Why else do you think I smoke? The lit tip of my cigarette is my lighthouse, my lighthome. Do not tell me that my health matters when ashes are covering my hair, my nails, my arms My ashes are my buddies, My body’s I’m burning myself to the ground and I’m not asking you to grab a jug of water, I’m asking you to hear the crackling of my fire; acknowledge it. 9. No, I can’t just “make friends” Friendship is a vending machine and I am broke, broken. 10. Don’t tell me how shook you are that I’ve been seeing a therapist for the last three years but I still automatically point out the highest building in every street I walk in to assure the success of my suicide plan. 11. I’m not just sad. 12. I will not just “get over it” 13. I will not cry it out or laugh it off. 14. I feel no comfort in knowing that I am not alone in what I feel. 15. Help yourself to a glass of I’m Listening juice, and while you’re at it, try some of those I Won’t Blame You For Your Feelings cookies, and how about a slice of I’m Here cake? 16. Ask me why I chose blue for my bedroom walls or why I love collecting mugs or how I fell in love with books instead of asking me how my day was or why I didn’t leave my house for the past three months And do not hold me accountable for not giving an answer that psychologically explains why my mental health is the way it is, because: 17. I do not owe you any explanations.